The reason why I created this blog

[21:52] karl Karfield: excuse me, tsshanshan,can u tell me which balls we have touch and make love with my girl

Merry Christmas!

Orgy Room Couture, pt. 2

Normally I think it's bad form to post twice in a day, but I've been having a bad day IRL and I had to make an exception due to this:




This particular specimen didn't seem to speak much English, and his name was an unpronounceable series of letters and numbers, so I didn't know how to ask him exactly how he got his shoulders so wide. I wasn't aware that this could be done with sliders. Are there prim shoulders now? Is he able to fit though doors?

Since no one should ever be subjected to the freenis, I have decided it would be best to hide it. However, it should be noted that it was the popular "delight penis"- a freebie that I've seen resold in multiple "business in a box" stores across the grid.

In fairness, he was fully clothed other than the freenis. And at least he had the decency to avoid the popular gigantic bling necklace and body oil.

Like shooting fish in a barrel: Orgy Room Couture, pt. 1

I was reluctant to use pictures or discuss fashion in great depth on this blog, mostly because there are many, many SL bloggers who cover this type of thing far better than I ever could. Plus, most of what I see is not safe for work (or for life, really), and I assumed that anyone reading this blog was not terribly interested in a parade of freenises. However, these ladies have inspired me to start an occasional series called "Orgy Room Couture", where you can feast your eyes on the fashion disasters that can be found in SL's finer sex clubs.

(names have been removed to protect the not-so-innocent)

I'd say these ladies got dressed in the dark, but surely there was enough light from the facelight of the blonde to find decent clothes for themselves and the 30 other avatars in the room at the time. The redhead appears to be missing half of her outfit- I sense that she was attempting to mold a full perms dress into a Katy Perry-esque leotard. However, the glitch pants were never intended to be booty shorts. I'm also curious as to where the rest of her shoes went.

As for the blonde... I'm not sure how she managed to get two pairs of socks on. Or why she felt the need to wear everything in her inventory at the same time.

If I wasn't feeling so charitable about protecting their identities, I'd be able to show you that 1) They're apparently managers of some type of strip/escort club (I pray that they are attempting to reach a color blind clientele), 2) The redhead was rocking some serious eye bling. 3) The blonde has been here since 2006, which means that she has no excuse for this.

Ladies, if you don't want people to think you're a RL man pretending to be a woman... don't dress like this.

Because sometimes they're rude, not stupid

As the late great Lillie Yifu used to say, offered without comment:


[16:12] Lovegod Lewis: Well, I read your profile, thought it over, and I think I may want to know you.
[16:12] Amanda Amaterasu smiles
[16:12] Lovegod Lewis: {loves her smile]
[16:12] Lovegod Lewis: [Loves her body]
[16:13] Lovegod Lewis: lol
[16:13] Lovegod Lewis: I got a smile
[16:13] Lovegod Lewis: Di I get a hello?
[16:13] Lovegod Lewis: DO
[16:13] Amanda Amaterasu: Sure. Hello.
[16:14] Lovegod Lewis: [sorry]
[16:14] Lovegod Lewis: Good
[16:14] Lovegod Lewis: So, having broken the ice, I presume I need to cay something clever
[16:14] Lovegod Lewis: [lat me think.....]
[16:14] Lovegod Lewis: damn my spelling
[16:16] Lovegod Lewis: Do you have a favorite place where we might get away from the, uh-hum, crowd?
[16:16] Amanda Amaterasu: Not really
[16:16] Lovegod Lewis: IC
[16:16] Lovegod Lewis: OK
[16:17] Lovegod Lewis: maybe this isnt such a good idea then.
[16:17] Amanda Amaterasu: Sorry... you're not really what I'm looking for... but good luck and enjoy!
[16:17] Lovegod Lewis: Its OK baby 'cause your not what im lookin for either.
[16:18] Amanda Amaterasu: No problem, bye!
[16:19] Lovegod Lewis: asshole
[16:20] Amanda Amaterasu falls down laughing.
[16:20] Amanda Amaterasu: Now, there's no need for that. I'm not the only woman here. So just move on and enjoy your day.
[16:21] Lovegod Lewis: you think you are the first stuck up girl to make herself feel important by prick teasing in the free sex room?
[16:21] Amanda Amaterasu: Simmer down now.
[16:22] Lovegod Lewis: leave you baggage in rl
[16:22] Amanda Amaterasu: I think you need to shut off your computer, take a deep breath, skip through some daisies or something. There's no reason why I should hit such a nerve.

Single, not mingling

All of my alts (except for... hmmm... Amanda) have some variation of the "single, not looking" meme written in their profiles. In fact, I have studiously avoided being partnered in SL since I've seen far, far too many SL relationships fail. Even if the SL relationship is all about the hawt cybering, it doesn't seem to be worth it to me.

So I was rather amused to have this brief exchange. I should note that I was in a PG welcome area at this time, and not actively seeking conversations suited for this blog while parking my avi in an orgy room:


[10:06] Swinger Mubble: hi
[10:06] Swinger Mubble: are you married in sl?
[10:07] Amanda Amaterasu smiles and notes the blank spot in the "partner" section of her profile.
[10:07] Swinger Mubble: well, just looking for a couple for my wife and i
[10:07] Swinger Mubble: first time
[10:07] Amanda Amaterasu: I see
[10:08] Swinger Mubble: do you have a bf?
[10:09] Amanda Amaterasu: I'm not trying to be rude, but did you read my profile?
[10:09] Swinger Mubble: sorry

Dumps like a truck, truck, truck

This guy was wandering through Free Sex Empire, approaching women in open chat and asking them about their thongs. It was only a matter of time before I would become the next object of his desire.


[22:47] DirtyOldMan Writer: Hey Amanda, lookin' good.
[22:47] Amanda Amaterasu: Thanks... why did you push me?
[22:47] DirtyOldMan Writer: DIdn't mean to.
[22:47] DirtyOldMan Writer: Sorry about that.
[22:48] Amanda Amaterasu: No worries, just be careful
[22:48] DirtyOldMan Writer: I will.
[22:48] DirtyOldMan Writer: So what do you thinka bout thongs?
[22:48] Amanda Amaterasu: Why? Do you have a thong fetish?
[22:48] DirtyOldMan Writer: Maybe a bit.
[22:49] Amanda Amaterasu: So I noticed
[22:49] DirtyOldMan Writer: Well, what do you t hink of them/
[22:49] Amanda Amaterasu: I don't.
[22:50] Amanda Amaterasu: It's like asking me what I think of shirts or something
[22:50] Amanda Amaterasu: It's just clothing
[22:50] Amanda Amaterasu shrugs
[22:50] DirtyOldMan Writer: Do you wear them, though?
[22:50] Amanda Amaterasu: If I'm wearing pants where I think VPL might be an issue, then yes
[22:51] DirtyOldMan Writer: I see.
[22:51] DirtyOldMan Writer: So how does the sex work in sl?
[22:51] Amanda Amaterasu: Hop on a poseball and hope for the best
[22:51] DirtyOldMan Writer: Okay.
[22:52] DirtyOldMan Writer: Would you care to join me on one?
[22:52] Amanda Amaterasu: No
[22:52] DirtyOldMan Writer: Okay.

Little darlin'

[18:21] BlueJay Way: hello darling
[18:21] Amanda Amaterasu: Who's darling?
[18:21] BlueJay Way: my haha
[18:22] Amanda Amaterasu: Your haha?
[18:22] Amanda Amaterasu is quite confused.
[18:22] BlueJay Way: lol
[18:22] BlueJay Way: but you have a nice dress
[18:23] Amanda Amaterasu: Thank you
[18:23] BlueJay Way: very sexy
[18:23] Amanda Amaterasu: Thank you
[18:23] BlueJay Way: were do you come from?
[18:23] Amanda Amaterasu: Second Life
[18:23] BlueJay Way: haha
[18:24] BlueJay Way: mmm I like your dance
[18:24] BlueJay Way: it makes me hot
[18:24] Amanda Amaterasu: It's not a dance, it's my animation override
[18:25] BlueJay Way: do you like play with me?
[18:25] Amanda Amaterasu: I prefer men who approach me fully clothed, even in a sex room, but thanks anyway.
[18:26] BlueJay Way: what are you do ther?
[18:26] BlueJay Way: here
[18:26] BlueJay Way: only looking cock?
[18:27] Amanda Amaterasu: Well, this may be a "free sex" room, but I like men who show a bit of pride and class
[18:27] Amanda Amaterasu: Men who run around with their cocks out, in my experience, aren't very interesting or skilled lovers
[18:28] BlueJay Way: I don`t knoww another rooms
[18:28] Amanda Amaterasu: I see you're fairly new... what else have you done in SL?
[18:28] BlueJay Way: my dutch room
[18:29] Amanda Amaterasu: You have a dutch room?
[18:29] BlueJay Way: and looking for some cloths
[18:29] Amanda Amaterasu: Well, yes, I see you haven't really found any
[18:29] BlueJay Way: yes i litty
[18:30] BlueJay Way: but i go
[18:30] BlueJay Way: have fun
[18:30] BlueJay Way: bye
[18:30] Amanda Amaterasu: You too!

Turning Japanese

I always manage to pick alts with ethnic surnames. I suppose I do this as a corrective to make up for my RL WASP sounding name which doesn't match my RL appearance. Now, what tends to happen is that newbies from the country of origin of my chosen surname seem to think that I am one of them, leading to much confusion. Especially when the newbie in question picks a name that does not reflect their ethnic heritage at all.


[11:33] Marcus Dancer: Hi
[11:33] Amanda Amaterasu: Hello
[11:34] Marcus Dancer: Your costume is cute.
[11:34] Amanda Amaterasu: It's not a costume, but thanks
[11:34] Marcus Dancer: I'm Japanese.
[11:34] Amanda Amaterasu: OK
[11:35] Marcus Dancer: I am doing SecondLife after a long time.
[11:35] Marcus Dancer: You often come here?
[11:36] Amanda Amaterasu: To this room or to SL?
[11:36] Marcus Dancer: This room.
[11:36] Amanda Amaterasu: Not really, unless I'm really bored
[11:36] Amanda Amaterasu laughs
[11:37] Marcus Dancer: You are Spanish? (this particular alt has a Spanish surname)
[11:37] Amanda Amaterasu: No, American
[11:38] Marcus Dancer: I want to play vertual sex with you......
[11:38] Amanda Amaterasu: No thanks
[11:39] Marcus Dancer: Sorry.

Lost in translation

[11:39] Closer Sideways: salut
[11:39] Amanda Amaterasu: Hello, how are you?
[11:39] Closer Sideways: fine and u
[11:40] Amanda Amaterasu: Fine, thanks
[11:40] Closer Sideways: were are u from
[11:40] Amanda Amaterasu: A place where we read profiles and write out the word "you".
[11:41] Closer Sideways: me i'm a visitor for wich u tel me
[11:41] Amanda Amaterasu: OK
[11:41] Closer Sideways: my name is fethi and u
[11:41] Amanda Amaterasu: As far as you're concerned, it's Amanda.
[11:41] Amanda Amaterasu: It's rude to ask for real names here.
[11:41] Closer Sideways: glad to meet u
[11:42] Closer Sideways: i speak french little
[11:42] Amanda Amaterasu: I only speak English
[11:42] Closer Sideways: so i speak english little , i wana said
[11:42] Closer Sideways: but my language is french
[11:43] Amanda Amaterasu nods
[11:43] Amanda Amaterasu: My only language is English.
[11:43] Closer Sideways: but , said me what do u work here
[11:43] Amanda Amaterasu: I don't work in SL
[11:44] Closer Sideways: no , i talk ..here u make .?
[11:44] Amanda Amaterasu: Like I said, I don't work in SL
[11:44] Closer Sideways: ok follow me please i like to sit and to talk to u
[11:44] Closer Sideways: okay ?
[11:44] Amanda Amaterasu: No
[11:45] Closer Sideways: i wait u
[11:45] Amanda Amaterasu: You'll be waiting for a long time
[11:46] Closer Sideways: why ?
[11:46] Amanda Amaterasu: Because you ask nosy questions.
[11:46] Amanda Amaterasu: This is Second Life, don't ask for my real name.
[11:47] Closer Sideways: okay
[11:47] Closer Sideways: i dn't like to disturb u sorry


OK, in retrospect, perhaps I was a bit harsh on Closer. But really, why ask for real names within the first few moments of conversation?

Just remember all caps when you speak the name

[10:13] ALLO Capital: HI
[10:13] Amanda Amaterasu: Hello
[10:13] ALLO Capital: SPANISH?
[10:14] Amanda Amaterasu: No, I'm American.
[10:14] ALLO Capital: OKI
[10:14] Amanda Amaterasu: Why are you typing in all caps?
[10:14] ALLO Capital: SEX YOU MI HAUSE?
[10:14] ALLO Capital: MU
[10:14] Amanda Amaterasu: Why are you typing in all caps?
[10:14] Amanda Amaterasu: That's been considered yelling on the internet since at least 1996.
[10:15] ALLO Capital: ?
[10:16] ALLO Capital: baby, do you come with me to my house¿?
[10:16] ALLO Capital: baby, do you come with me to my house¿?
[10:16] Amanda Amaterasu: My name isn't baby.
[10:16] ALLO Capital: AMANDLA baby, do you come with me to my house¿?
[10:16] Amanda Amaterasu: My name isn't Amandla, and I don't go places with people who yell
[10:17] ALLO Capital: OK
[10:17] ALLO Capital: BYE
[10:18] Amanda Amaterasu: Bye, and stop yelling at people.

Dressing for success

I was talking to a group member** the other day about the best way for those of us of the female persuasion to dress for the orgy rooms to maximize the amount of IMs received. Here's what I've found, via my many visits and experiments:

1) Having a completely default avatar can work with a new alt. You'll be sure to get plenty of "you're new around here, let me show you around baby" IMs. However, if you've been around the SL block a few times on a particular account, you'll likely be ignored as guys will assume you're one of them.

2) Save the Paper Couture for the ballrooms- orgy roomers won't talk to you if you're too dressed up. Most of them find glamazons to be intimidating.

3) Avoid obvious slutwear and bling- this is the uniform of cheap escorts. Nothing turns an orgy roomer off more than the idea of having to pay for sex.

4) Do wear a cute, flippy skirt- preferably a kilt or A-line skirt. I found some very cute skirts at Dutch Touch that orgy room guys seem to find irresistable.

5) If you've got a school girl uniform, wear it.

6) My group member tells me Ugg-style boots are good. I do not own Uggs, but leg warmers with sneakers or flat shoes seem to work just as well.

7) High heels are always a good bet if they're well crafted.

8) Nude or topless can work, but tends to attract the type of guy who is unable to carry on a conversation in any language. Unless you're prepared to deal with that type of attention, it's probably best to avoid that look.

9) When all else fails, be a neko.

For those of you who go to orgy rooms for the lulz, what do you wear to attract attention?





** There's a group for this blog? Yes! Just search "Men Behaving Badly" in groups and join! Or search me, Amanda Amaterasu... and join the group! I swear I won't spam you!

Pushy lesbian is pushy

Guys, for those of you pretending to be lesbians on the internet, it's helpful to remember that real lesbians can take "no" for an answer.

[11:29] Tyller Ah: wanna have some fun? You look hot
[11:29] Amanda Amaterasu: Sure
[11:30] Amanda Amaterasu: Oh wait
[11:30] Amanda Amaterasu: I didn't see your av
[11:30] Amanda Amaterasu: I only have sex with men
[11:30] Amanda Amaterasu: Sorry
[11:30] Tyller Ah: ts, hot girls are always so hetero
[11:30] Tyller Ah: Ever tried to discover your female siede
[11:30] Amanda Amaterasu: I can't help it, I was born that way!
[11:31] Amanda Amaterasu: I've tried it. Lesbianism is not for me, but I have nothing against lesbians. Have fun.
[11:31] Tyller Ah: Men beg to fuck with me
[11:31] Amanda Amaterasu: That's nice
[11:31] Tyller Ah: yes, But I look up my own guys.
[11:32] Tyller Ah: But I prefer girls. And I don't take everybody
[11:32] Amanda Amaterasu nods
[11:32] Amanda Amaterasu: Well, have fun!
[11:32] Tyller Ah: Well, I think, you would have been my fun for today.
[11:32] Tyller Ah: New day, new chance
[11:32] Tyller Ah: So I'll leave for today
[11:33] Amanda Amaterasu: Bye!

No, you're never gonna get it.

Full disclosure time: I have an alt who appears to be more... available than others. I don't take noobishness from anyone regardless of which guise I appear in when I'm at an orgy room. However, I am prepared to deal with the more direct requests and comments that I get when I'm on this particular alt.


[9:24] Slipknot Childsplay: hey how would you like a nice cock in your tight wet pussy?
[9:24] Slipknot Childsplay: Or maybe you just like to have it in your mouth?
[9:24] Amanda Amaterasu: Did you read my profile?
[9:25] Slipknot Childsplay: yes
[9:25] Amanda Amaterasu: Good
[9:25] Slipknot Childsplay: uh so...........
[9:26] Amanda Amaterasu: So where's your AO? And, by the way, your shoes are missing.
[9:27] Slipknot Childsplay: i dont need an ao to make u fuckin scream
[9:27] Amanda Amaterasu: I like men who pay attention to detail.
[9:28] Amanda Amaterasu: The fact that you're wearing a shoe base without shoes, lack an AO, and think that "you" is spelled "u" shows me that you do not pay attention to detail.
[9:29] Slipknot Childsplay: u dont need detail to get ure pussy wet
[9:30] Amanda Amaterasu: Yes, I do
[9:30] Slipknot Childsplay: u dont need to b fuck by a god or sumpin
[9:31] Slipknot Childsplay: u cant handle what i pac in my punch
[9:31] Amanda Amaterasu: Um.
[9:32] Amanda Amaterasu: Can you please type properly?
[9:32] Slipknot Childsplay: ill rip u apart in one push
[9:32] Slipknot Childsplay: bitch
[9:32] Amanda Amaterasu: No offense, but have you ever had sex before? I won't judge you if you haven't.
[9:33] Slipknot Childsplay: ha i cant remember the times ive had so much
[9:33] Amanda Amaterasu: I'll take that as a no.
[9:33] Amanda Amaterasu smiles
[9:33] Slipknot Childsplay: eyr xs
[9:33] Slipknot Childsplay: ndu
[9:34] Slipknot Childsplay: da
[9:36] Slipknot Childsplay: u cant handle
[9:37] Amanda Amaterasu: You're right, I can't handle your poor spelling and grammar. That's one of the reasons we're not going to fuck.
[9:38] Slipknot Childsplay: go fuck ureself cause thats the only dick ure gonna get plastic
[9:40] Amanda Amaterasu: A plastic dick would satisfy me better than you.
[9:40] Amanda Amaterasu: So thanks!
[9:41] Slipknot Childsplay: fuck of
[9:41] Amanda Amaterasu thinks you meant to say "Fuck off."
[9:41] Amanda Amaterasu: "Fuck of" doesn't make sense.
[9:42] Amanda Amaterasu: If you were in school like you're supposed to be right now, you would know that.

Help

[10:19] BadTypist Untie: hi
[10:20] Amanda Amaterasu: Hello BadTypist, how are you?
[10:20] BadTypist Untie: greay
[10:20] BadTypist Untie: great
[10:20] BadTypist Untie: n u
[10:20] Amanda Amaterasu: I'm sorry?
[10:20] Amanda Amaterasu: "n u"?
[10:21] BadTypist Untie: and you
[10:21] Amanda Amaterasu: I'm fine, thank you.
[10:21] BadTypist Untie: im trying this out 4 da first time wannz
[10:22] BadTypist Untie: a jion me
[10:23] Amanda Amaterasu: I'm sorry, but I don't understand you


I should note that BadTypist's profile stated, quite clearly, "NO RL", then proceeded to describe himself and give out several e-mail addresses.

lolwhut

There are certain things that just must be documented.

[10:36] strangelover Oh: hi
[10:37] Amanda Amaterasu: Hello
[10:37] strangelover Oh: u r looking so sexy in this outfit
[10:37] strangelover Oh: ur breast r attracting a log
[10:37] Amanda Amaterasu: What?
[10:38] strangelover Oh: i mean ur breasts r attracting me
[10:38] strangelover Oh: do u have same size in RL
[10:39] Amanda Amaterasu: That's none of your business
[10:39] strangelover Oh: k
[10:39] strangelover Oh: from where u r?
[10:39] Amanda Amaterasu: A place where we spell out words like "you" and "are"
[10:40] strangelover Oh: hhhh
[10:40] strangelover Oh: okay
[10:40] strangelover Oh: you are from which place?
[10:40] Amanda Amaterasu: Earth
[10:40] strangelover Oh: hhh
[10:41] strangelover Oh: you use your brain a lot...
[10:41] Amanda Amaterasu: I think that's a positive attribute, don't you use your brain?
[10:41] strangelover Oh: me yes, but not in silly things
[10:42] Amanda Amaterasu: Well, I like men who use their brains
[10:42] strangelover Oh: hmmm, it means we could be friends
[10:43] Amanda Amaterasu: Could we?
[10:43] strangelover Oh: i supose not after talking to u , but every thing is possible in this place earth...
[10:44] Amanda Amaterasu: Yes, there are endless possibilities here
[10:44] strangelover Oh: ya

A little while later, in open chat... (names unchanged)

[10:50] Moesha Burner: uuuuuuuhhhhh gooooooood
[10:50] Moesha Burner: suck my breast baby!!
[10:51] Sir Udimo: yeah
[10:51] Moesha Burner: oh your fingers.....
[10:51] Sir Udimo: you r nice
[10:51] Sir Udimo: you r so thight!
[10:51] Sir Udimo: and wet
[10:51] Moesha Burner: uau...i´m wet!
[10:52] Sir Udimo: you r my fuckbuddy!
[10:52] Moesha Burner: yesss....pleasee..i wanna your dick babe
[10:52] Moesha Burner: come in...fuck me pleeeasse
[10:52] Sir Udimo: you can have it
[10:53] Moesha Burner: come on babe;;;;;
[10:54] Moesha Burner: ohhhhh myyyyyyyyyyy
[10:54] Moesha Burner: yesssss
[10:54] Moesha Burner: fuckk meee
[10:54] Moesha Burner: so deeppp
[10:55] Moesha Burner: oh sir....your biigg dicjjjj
[10:55] Moesha Burner: you´lll kill meeeeeeeeeee
[10:58] Moesha Burner: yess sirr...yess...ip´m cuumming
[10:58] Moesha Burner: aaaahhhhhhhhhh
[10:58] Moesha Burner: aaaaahhhh i´m cumming.....
[10:58] Moesha Burner: yessss fuck me for hourrssss
[10:59] Moesha Burner: ooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
[11:00] Moesha Burner: i can´t anymooooooreee siirr
[11:00] Moesha Burner: pleasseee

Where the hell did Sir Udimo go? Yes, I know it was likely he was jerking off without typing a thing, but I'm imaginging he was making a sandwich in real life while Moesha oooed and aaahed.

Conversations with a naked man

I apologize to anyone who's been following this blog and expected more posts. I expected more posts too, to be honest. A combination of factors happened: real life getting in the way, and some very non-post worthy conversations when I'm actually able to get into an orgy room. (Him: hi. Me: Hello. Him: u wanna have sum fun? Me: No. Him: kthxbye) Luckily, I had a few moments today to pop in, and someone found me. Specifically, a naked man in a ill-fitted prim hair wearing a freebie penis that didn't even remotely match his BIAB skin.

[8:52] Sharebear Watson: hi
[8:52] Amanda Amaterasu: Hello
[8:52] Sharebear Watson: whats up
[8:52] Amanda Amaterasu: Not much
[8:53] Sharebear Watson: nice dress
[8:53] Amanda Amaterasu: Thanks... wearing clothes is a good thing
[8:53] Sharebear Watson: so is being naked
[8:54] Amanda Amaterasu: Well, it helps to look good naked
[8:54] Amanda Amaterasu smiles at you
[8:55] Sharebear Watson: sorry i jut woke up
[8:55] Amanda Amaterasu: Ah
[8:55] Sharebear Watson: morning hard on
[8:56] Amanda Amaterasu: Except your penis isn't hard... at least not from what I can tell
[8:56] Sharebear Watson: it is in rl
[8:56] Amanda Amaterasu: I'm sure it is
[8:58] Sharebear Watson: are you a girl?
[8:58] Amanda Amaterasu: Last time I checked, I'm female. Are you?
[8:58] Sharebear Watson: male
[8:59] Amanda Amaterasu smiles and notes it's only fair to question your RL gender if you question hers.
[8:59] Sharebear Watson: you like to watch
[9:00] Amanda Amaterasu: This place is always good for a few chuckles
[9:00] Sharebear Watson: i like watching people fuvk to
[9:01] Amanda Amaterasu: I think we like watching for entirely different reasons
[9:01] Amanda Amaterasu: Watching two noobs go at it going "mmmmmm ooooooo" isn't erotic, but it sure is funny
[9:01] Sharebear Watson: perhaps
[9:01] Amanda Amaterasu: But hey, if that excites you, I won't judge
[9:02] Sharebear Watson: no i like watching people fuck in rl
[9:02] Amanda Amaterasu: Well, that's your business
[9:03] Sharebear Watson: sorry for bothering you
[9:04] Amanda Amaterasu: You're not bothering me... you just went into TMI territory
[9:05] Amanda Amaterasu: But then again, since you're naked in an orgy room, you probably have no problem sharing
[9:05] Amanda Amaterasu laughs
[9:07] Sharebear Watson: i gues
[9:07] Amanda Amaterasu: Why go nude anyway? Women like a sharp dressed man.
[9:09] Sharebear Watson: because i'm dirty
[9:09] Amanda Amaterasu: Well, yes, we've established that
[9:10] Amanda Amaterasu: But it seems to me that going nude with a hard on is a bit... obvious
[9:10] Amanda Amaterasu: And women like men who pay attention to detail

At that point I crashed. Too bad, it could have gotten even funnier.

Hey baby hey baby hey

There's something to be said for using a woman's name when speaking to her. One well placed, creative pet name while flirting can be exciting and sensual. Constant "hey baby" comments just make a male look like a leering jerk. That was the case with this guy.


[22:37] Iluvya Babii: You look incredible
[22:38] Amanda Amaterasu: Thank you
[22:38] Iluvya Babii: lol you dont EVEn see me lol;)
[22:39] Iluvya Babii: well?
[22:39] Amanda Amaterasu: Nope, I sure don't
[22:39] Iluvya Babii: LOLOL
[22:39] Iluvya Babii: Im sitting on the sofa baby
[22:39] Iluvya Babii: Behind you baby
[22:39] Iluvya Babii: ceom here... lemme look you over princess
[22:39] Amanda Amaterasu: I see you know
[22:40] Amanda Amaterasu: *now
[22:40] Iluvya Babii: so then come here sugar
[22:40] Amanda Amaterasu: No
[22:40] Iluvya Babii: lol why not baby?
[22:41] Amanda Amaterasu: Because I hate being called "baby", "princess", and "sugar" by strangers... only people who know me well may call me that
[22:41] Amanda Amaterasu: That's why
[22:41] Iluvya Babii: lolol
[22:41] Iluvya Babii: damn
[22:41] Iluvya Babii: sorry
[22:41] Iluvya Babii: didnt mena to offend you
[22:41] Amanda Amaterasu: Don't be sorry, just use my name... if I wanted to be called "baby" I'd have named myself that
[22:42] Iluvya Babii: lolol ok lolol
[22:42] Iluvya Babii: jesus
[22:42] Iluvya Babii: another angery female I see lol
[22:42] Amanda Amaterasu: I'm not angry at all
[22:42] Amanda Amaterasu: Just selective
[22:42] Amanda Amaterasu winks at you
[22:43] Iluvya Babii: right.. well its very attractive... have a great night
[22:43] Amanda Amaterasu: You too!

Yes, looks matter

Sorry boys, I hate to be cruel, but your appearance really, truly matters. When we(and by "we" I mean the women of SL) have taken the time to pick out an outfit, select the perfect hair, put together the appropriate accessories, and you approach us with a default avatar, don't be surprised when we're not so interested in talking. You might think that this is just a game, but if you cared enough to download the client, log in, and make an attempt at conversation, you should care enough to make yourself look presentable. And if you don't care, why should we care?

Let me put it another way- you wouldn't go to a RL club or bar with messy hair or wearing dirty clothes, would you? And even if you did, and you hit on the hottest woman in the room, the one who spent hours putting herself together, you'd better be ridiculously charming to get her to look past your unkempt appearance. Unfortunately, there's a select few men who can pull that off in RL or in SL.

These men were not part of the select few.

[9:49] Freebie Freedom: Hi sexy girl ;)
[9:49] Amanda Amaterasu: Hello, please call me Amanda, my name is not "sexy girl"
[9:50] Freebie Freedom: nice Amanda :)
[9:50] Freebie Freedom: how are you ?
[9:50] Amanda Amaterasu: I'm fine, thanks
[9:50] Freebie Freedom: searching for fun here?
[9:50] Amanda Amaterasu: Perhaps
[9:51] Freebie Freedom: you're looking for a good guy ou good girl
[9:51] Amanda Amaterasu: I prefer men to women
[9:52] Freebie Freedom: well
[9:52] Freebie Freedom: often come here ?
[9:53] Amanda Amaterasu: Not really
[9:53] Freebie Freedom: me too
[9:54] Freebie Freedom: do you want to play ?
[9:54] Amanda Amaterasu: No
[9:55] Freebie Freedom: what a pity :(
[9:55] Amanda Amaterasu: Well, I'm going to be honest with you
[9:55] Amanda Amaterasu: I took time and a bit of money to look nice
[9:55] Amanda Amaterasu: I prefer men who do the same
[9:56] Freebie Freedom: ok Amanda it's your choice ;)
[9:56] Amanda Amaterasu: It certainly is
[9:56] Amanda Amaterasu smiles
[9:56] Freebie Freedom: have a good time Amanda
[9:56] Amanda Amaterasu: You too!
[9:56] Freebie Freedom: enjoy SL ;)


[9:28] Donald Default: hi Amanda (this was said in open chat)
[9:29] Amanda Amaterasu: Hello Donald, please use IM, how are you?
[9:30] Donald Default: i'm fine thx and u?
[9:30] Amanda Amaterasu: I'm fine, thank you
[9:30] Donald Default: may i say u look forbidden hot?
[9:30] Amanda Amaterasu: Forbidden hot?
[9:31] Amanda Amaterasu: Donald, IM please
[9:31] Donald Default: i like ur sexy curves
[9:32] Amanda Amaterasu: Thank you
[9:32] Donald Default: not thatfor ,just the truth lil lady
[9:32] Donald Default: wha t r u doinß
[9:32] Amanda Amaterasu: Standing here
[9:32] Donald Default: waitin for sumthing special?
[9:32] Amanda Amaterasu: Sure
[9:33] Donald Default: maybe u don't have to wait anymore;-)
[9:34] Amanda Amaterasu laughs
[9:34] Donald Default: u like to have sum nasty action?
[9:34] Amanda Amaterasu: No
[9:35] Donald Default: no problem
[9:37] Donald Default: bit sad cause u look so damn hot,but whatever u like
[9:38] Amanda Amaterasu: Well, I am going to be honest with you... I took time and a bit of money to look attractive, I like men who do the same
[9:38] Donald Default: i understand
[9:38] Donald Default: i'll gave my best in future

(I hand him a LM for Truth)

[9:39] Amanda Amaterasu: Try going to that store
[9:39] Amanda Amaterasu: Lots of good things for men and women there
[9:39] Donald Default: so i hope to meet u again when i'm in a betterv shape
[9:40] Amanda Amaterasu: Good luck!
[9:40] Donald Default: ;-)

What passes for cybering in orgy rooms, pt. 3

I swear, some people are just trying to get into this blog. I really wish I'd caught what series of events lead up to this conversation.

(As with my previous post, the names are not being changed here. Again, in this instance, I simply don't see the point.)

[22:09] Susi DeSantis: and my asss hole tooo
[22:09] Susi DeSantis: baby
[22:09] Susi DeSantis: come on mmmmmhhhhh
[22:10] Eiro Diesel: im gonna fuck em both
[22:10] Susi DeSantis: aaahhhhh
[22:10] Eiro Diesel: mmm
[22:10] Susi DeSantis: ammmmmmmmmmm
[22:10] Susi DeSantis: yesss baby
[22:10] Susi DeSantis: harder
[22:10] Susi DeSantis: mmmmmmmmmmmmm
[22:10] Eiro Diesel: ok mm mm mm m m mm mm mm mm
[22:10] Susi DeSantis: mmmmmmhhhhh you're such a durty boy you fucker
[22:10] Susi DeSantis: mmmmmmmmmm
[22:10] Eiro Diesel: take that cock bitch
[22:10] Susi DeSantis: ahhhhhhh
[22:10] Eiro Diesel: oh yeah
[22:10] Susi DeSantis: aaaaahhhhhhh
[22:11] Susi DeSantis: baby
[22:11] Susi DeSantis: aaaaaaouuuuuuuuuuuuwwwwwwwww
[22:11] Eiro Diesel: im gonna grab your hair and ride you
[22:11] Susi DeSantis: mmmmmmmmmmmmm you know what I want
[22:11] Susi DeSantis: baby give it to me
[22:11] Susi DeSantis: mmmmmmma
[22:11] Eiro Diesel: oh yake it
[22:11] Susi DeSantis: ahhhhhhhhh
[22:11] Eiro Diesel: mmm
[22:11] Susi DeSantis: mmmmmhhhhhhh
[22:11] Eiro Diesel: fuck yeah
[22:12] Susi DeSantis: oooooohhh myyyy gooooooooooodddd aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh
[22:12] Susi DeSantis: mmmmmmmmmmmmmm
[22:12] Susi DeSantis: baby you're so hard
[22:12] Susi DeSantis: aaaahhh
[22:12] Eiro Diesel: mmm oh yeah so wet
[22:12] Susi DeSantis: it hurttttssss aaaaahhh I love it
[22:12] Susi DeSantis: baby yeah
[22:13] Eiro Diesel: good take it baby oh yeah
[22:13] Susi DeSantis: mmmmmmhhhhhhhhh
[22:13] Susi DeSantis: aaaah hh baby mmmmmmmm
[22:13] Eiro Diesel: mmm
[22:13] Susi DeSantis: fuck me baby
[22:13] Susi DeSantis: fuck me harder
[22:13] Susi DeSantis: mmmmmhhaaaaaaaaaaaa
[22:13] Eiro Diesel: im pounding that pussy
[22:13] Susi DeSantis: aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh
[22:13] Susi DeSantis: yesssssss
[22:14] Susi DeSantis: aaaaaaouuuuuuuuu
[22:14] Susi DeSantis: baby yeaahhhhhh
[22:14] Susi DeSantis: ouuuuuuaaahahhwwww
[22:14] Eiro Diesel: grabbing your tits
[22:14] Eiro Diesel: mmm
[22:14] Eiro Diesel: out yeah
[22:14] Susi DeSantis: baby hurt meee
[22:14] Susi DeSantis: aaaahhhhhh
[22:14] Susi DeSantis: yessssss
[22:14] Eiro Diesel: oh yeah
[22:14] Eiro Diesel: pull your hair
[22:15] Susi DeSantis: mmmmmmmmmmmhhhhaaaa aaaahhh
[22:15] Susi DeSantis: love it aaaaouhhhhh
[22:15] Susi DeSantis: ouufffffffffffff mmmmmmmm
[22:15] Eiro Diesel: oh yeah baby
[22:15] Eiro Diesel: mmm
[22:15] Susi DeSantis: yeah lick me you bastard mmmmmhhhh
[22:15] Eiro Diesel: im about to cum
[22:15] Susi DeSantis: me toooo baby
[22:15] Susi DeSantis: ahhhhhhhhhh
[22:15] Eiro Diesel: mmm here goes baby
[22:15] Susi DeSantis: come onnnnn mmmmmmmmm
[22:16] Susi DeSantis: aaaaaaah
[22:16] Susi DeSantis: aaaaaaaaah aaaaaahhh
[22:16] Susi DeSantis: aaaaaahhhhhh aaaahhh
[22:16] Susi DeSantis: aahhhh
[22:16] Susi DeSantis: ahahhhhhhhhhhh
[22:16] Eiro Diesel: oh oh oh mmmm oh yeah mmmm yes! mmmm OOOHHHH,....
[22:16] Susi DeSantis: ahhhh oooo baby
[22:16] Eiro Diesel: mmm
[22:16] Susi DeSantis: see you later sweety
[22:16] Susi DeSantis: mmmmmmmmmmmmm

What passes for cybering in orgy rooms, part 2

Normally I do not use real names in these posts. I feel that discretion is always best, even though I am discussing public sex acts. However, I simply must make an exception in this case.

I filtered out all of the irrelevant conversation, but to be honest the room was oddly quiet when this exchange happened. I suspect that most of the others were doubled over in laugher like I was. I don't know if I should pity the couple in this particular hookup, or thank them for making my evening so entertaining.

[18:58] liljonny555 Contepomi: get down again
[18:58] Beyond Moonites: mmm
[18:59] liljonny555 Contepomi: Take it!
[18:59] Beyond Moonites: god yes
[18:59] liljonny555 Contepomi: Can u handle this?
[18:59] liljonny555 Contepomi: Take it all!
[18:59] Beyond Moonites: mm bby give it to me
[19:00] liljonny555 Contepomi: *sticks it deep* *Grunts* Take it!
[19:00] Beyond Moonites: mmmm
[19:00] liljonny555 Contepomi: ooooooooh!!!
[19:00] liljonny555 Contepomi: Give me more access, take ur shit off
[19:01] liljonny555 Contepomi: so how u like baby??
[19:01] Beyond Moonites: mmm i love it
[19:02] Beyond Moonites: mmm follow me

(they go to a new poseball)

[19:01] liljonny555 Contepomi: so how u like baby??
[19:01] Beyond Moonites: mmm i love it
[19:02] Beyond Moonites: mmm follow me
[19:03] Beyond Moonites: mmmmyes
[19:03] liljonny555 Contepomi: getting nughtier
[19:03] liljonny555 Contepomi: *slams harder*
[19:03] Beyond Moonites: mmm fuck me
[19:03] liljonny555 Contepomi: Yes baby, your so tight
[19:03] Beyond Moonites: mmm
[19:04] liljonny555 Contepomi: *moans*Grunts* mmmmmmmm
[19:04] Beyond Moonites: mmmmfuck me hard
[19:04] liljonny555 Contepomi: Do u want it deeper baby?
[19:04] Beyond Moonites: fuck yes
[19:05] liljonny555 Contepomi: *pulling on hair* Yes!! im gonna fuck u harder
[19:05] Beyond Moonites: god mmm aw yes!
[19:05] Beyond Moonites: fuck me
[19:06] liljonny555 Contepomi: *slams harder*say my name!!!!!
[19:06] Beyond Moonites: fuck me jonny! fuck me
[19:07] liljonny555 Contepomi: oh god, yes, im about to cum. Keep it up baby *oh yea*
[19:07] Beyond Moonites: mmm
[19:07] Beyond Moonites: cum fo me
[19:08] liljonny555 Contepomi: where do u want me to cum on u *cant hold it any longer
[19:08] Beyond Moonites: in me babe
[19:08] liljonny555 Contepomi: *cums inside
[19:08] Beyond Moonites: mmm yes
[19:09] liljonny555 Contepomi: ohhh, that felt so good.
[19:09] liljonny555 Contepomi: u were awesome babe
[19:09] liljonny555 Contepomi: wanna go somewhere else

She tp'ed out at that point.

liljonny had previously been approached by a particularly pushy escort of the "u pay me now kthx" school, and I bet he was feeling pretty proud of himself that he got free sex.

If ever there were two people that desperately needed to read The Art of Giving Good Text, it was Beyond and liljonny.

What passes for cybering in orgy rooms (a small taste)

Based on my previous entries, it seems that very little sex actually happens in orgy rooms. This is pretty much the case, but when sex actually happens, the results are always hilarious. I don't know what's funnier... orgy roomers who jump on the poseballs and think "mmmmm" is enough, or people who try to do more and fail.

The following was an exchange I witnessed today between a "master" and a "sub".

[10:44] Lord Darkmoor: i am here
[10:44] lilone Sands: where do you want me master
[10:44] Lord Darkmoor: let me see
[10:45] Lord Darkmoor: follow

(they take a moment to hop on the poseball)

[10:46] lilone Sands: oh master
[10:46] lilone Sands: how good you make my pussy feel
[10:46] lilone Sands: i have missed your cock
[10:47] Lord Darkmoor: i missed ur pussy
[10:47] lilone Sands: scrub my pussy clean
[10:47] lilone Sands: it is soo dirty
[10:47] Lord Darkmoor: u nasty little......
[10:47] Lord Darkmoor: give it to me

At this point they got quiet. I think they knew I was watching and judging them.

It's not just men behaving badly

Now, based on my previous blogs, one would assume that only men dare to enter the orgy rooms along with a few intrepid women. The truth is that many women do go to the orgy rooms. The majority of them are escorts of some sort. I'm not sure what drives these escorts to the orgy rooms- yes, there are many available men who seek sex, but very few of these escorts offer anything that the orgy roomers think they can't get for free easily. This is something I'll elaborate on at a later date.

Another large group of women who go to the orgy rooms are lesbians. Now, I generally assume that any female avatar with a poorly designed avatar running around naked begging anyone to fuck her is likely a real life man. I also assume that any female avatar who runs to the orgy rooms to get her lesbian freak on is likely a real life man wanting to act out a fantasy. However, for the sake of the other players, I am happy to treat people as the way they present themselves.

Today I planted myself and I seemed to be approached by more than the normal number of lesbians. A couple backed off when I clearly stated I'm not into women, but these two were of particular interest. The first slammed right into me and pushed me a few feet before speaking.

[8:38] hotgyrl Sappho: hi
[8:38] Amanda Amaterasu: Hi... let me make this easy for you... I'm not into women.
[8:39] hotgyrl Sappho: how are you
[8:39] hotgyrl Sappho: do you like girl or boy??
[8:39] Amanda Amaterasu: Allow me to repeat myself
[8:39] Amanda Amaterasu: Hi... let me make this easy for you... I'm not into women.
[8:39] hotgyrl Sappho: do you like girl or boy??
[8:39] Amanda Amaterasu blinks
[8:40] Amanda Amaterasu: Again
[8:40] Amanda Amaterasu: For the third time
[8:40] Amanda Amaterasu: I'm
[8:40] Amanda Amaterasu: Not
[8:40] Amanda Amaterasu: Into
[8:40] Amanda Amaterasu: Women

The second seemed to think I was an escort. I'm not sure how she got this idea... I really do dress nicely when I go to orgy rooms!

[8:53] Sweetie Sweetwater: hi
[8:54] Sweetie Sweetwater: how i pay for sex whit you?
[8:54] Amanda Amaterasu: Just click my avatar and click pay
[8:54] Sweetie Sweetwater: ok but how?
[8:54] Amanda Amaterasu: Right click on my avatar
[8:55] Amanda Amaterasu: Click Pay
[8:55] Amanda Amaterasu: Put in an amount
[8:55] Amanda Amaterasu: Then click ok
[8:55] Sweetie Sweetwater: mmm ok

What we have here is a failure to communicate

I am aware that not everyone in SL speaks English as a first (or second, or third) language. With that being said, there's no excuse for poor grammar if one is going to type.

[10:36] l33t Lolcat: hi hows u
[10:37] Amanda Amaterasu: I'm fine, thank you, how are you?
[10:37] l33t Lolcat: not 2bad thanxs looking sexy there
[10:37] Amanda Amaterasu: Thanks
[10:37] l33t Lolcat: wot u up2
[10:38] Amanda Amaterasu: I'm sorry, what did you ask me?
[10:38] l33t Lolcat: wot u doing
[10:38] Amanda Amaterasu: Sorry? What does "wot u" mean?
[10:38] l33t Lolcat: as in wot u doing here
[10:39] Amanda Amaterasu: I still don't understand you
[10:39] Amanda Amaterasu: What does "wot" mean?
[10:39] Amanda Amaterasu: I've never seen that word
[10:39] l33t Lolcat: it means like u here 4 fun and things like that
[10:40] Amanda Amaterasu: Wait
[10:40] Amanda Amaterasu: When you typed "wot u up2"
[10:40] Amanda Amaterasu: Did you mean "What are you up to?"
[10:40] l33t Lolcat: yup
[10:40] Amanda Amaterasu: So why didn't you just type it properly?
[10:40] Amanda Amaterasu: Not everyone understands chat speak
[10:40] Amanda Amaterasu: But everyone understands proper spelling and grammar
[10:41] l33t Lolcat: kk soz
[10:41] Amanda Amaterasu: I didn't understand that
[10:41] Amanda Amaterasu: Please understand that I'm older than 29
[10:41] l33t Lolcat: ok sorry
[10:41] Amanda Amaterasu: So I'm not exactly down with the lingo
[10:41] Amanda Amaterasu: If you don't type properly, I'm going to have to ask you to translate again
[10:41] Amanda Amaterasu laughs
[10:42] l33t Lolcat: ok what you up to
[10:42] Amanda Amaterasu: Not much, just hanging out
[10:43] l33t Lolcat: ok

No means no. No, really, no means no.

Making my normal rounds of the orgy rooms, I've noticed that today they've been oddly quiet. I suppose this means that the regulars have returned to middle school and they can't access SL in their classrooms.

I guess that's why the guys who approached me today had a bit more of an... assertive approach.

The first conversation happened in Cupidus.

[7:30] Letshavefun Now: hey
[7:30] Amanda Amaterasu: Hello
[7:30] Letshavefun Now: great lokk
[7:30] Amanda Amaterasu: Thanks
[7:31] Letshavefun Now: wanna fun together miss?
[7:31] Amanda Amaterasu: No
[7:31] Letshavefun Now: what are you looking here
[7:32] Amanda Amaterasu: I'll know when/if I find it
[7:32] Letshavefun Now: girl?
[7:32] Amanda Amaterasu: No
[7:32] Letshavefun Now: well you find me
[7:32] Letshavefun Now: :)
[7:33] Amanda Amaterasu: You're not really what I'm looking for though
[7:33] Letshavefun Now: what kind of ava u look
[7:33] Amanda Amaterasu: It's not the type of avatar, it's the type of personality
[7:33] Amanda Amaterasu: The avatar is important, don't get me wrong
[7:34] Amanda Amaterasu: And I realize that this is "Free Sex Empire"
[7:34] Amanda Amaterasu: But being asked for "fun" right away is a turn off
[7:34] Letshavefun Now: u have right
[7:35] Letshavefun Now: wanna free sex ?
[7:35] Amanda Amaterasu: No

I naively assumed that "I'll know when/if I find it" would be his clue that I wasn't interested in Letshavefun. Apparently, no, that was his cue to keep trying. Third time's the charm, I suppose.

The room was going to experience a region restart, so I left and went to another den of iniquity. Within seconds, I was spanked by some random guy. I was about to walk away when...

[7:46] Spanker McGee: ahaha just had to spank your cute butt.
[7:46] Amanda Amaterasu: Jeez, that's just as bad as the unsolicited vampire bites
[7:47] Spanker McGee: haahhaha
[7:48] Spanker McGee: bites transform you. a little spank does not
[7:48] Spanker McGee: lol
[7:48] Amanda Amaterasu: They're equally annoying, and I did not consent to being spanked
[7:48] Spanker McGee: true, but its a sexroom afterall. you can expect it.
[7:49] Spanker McGee: but i wont do it anymore
[7:49] Amanda Amaterasu: Actually, no, I don't expect it, most men at least have the decency to approach me and attempt to engage me in conversation. They don't assume it's ok to spank someone

While I was speaking to Spanker, I was accosted by a nude man from across the room. Now, I'm all for personal space; I don't enjoy having my toes stepped on. With that being said, the IMs from across the room give the impression that the guy is looking for some random hole to fuck, and not in any particular woman. Guys, if you're going to approach a woman anywhere, at least make some kind of attempt to be in her immediate view.

[7:47] Spacey Looker: hi
[7:47] Spacey Looker: how are you?
[7:47] Amanda Amaterasu: I'm fine, thanks, and you?
[7:47] Spacey Looker: fine, thank you
[7:48] Spacey Looker: are you here looking for some fun?
[7:48] Amanda Amaterasu: Perhaps
[7:49] Spacey Looker: i think the upper floor is closed
[7:49] Spacey Looker: but i think i can go there anyways
[7:49] Spacey Looker: wanna come with me?
[7:49] Amanda Amaterasu: No
[7:49] Spacey Looker: we will be alone
[7:50] Amanda Amaterasu: That's ok
[7:51] Spacey Looker: do you want a tp?
[7:51] Amanda Amaterasu: No

If we're not going to have RL sex...

why on earth would I care about your RL cock size?

[12:01] Mr Big: hey there
[12:01] Amanda Amaterasu: Hello
[12:02] Mr Big: how are you doing
[12:03] Amanda Amaterasu: I'm fine, thanks, and you?
[12:06] Mr Big: good good you are lookin hot
[12:06] Amanda Amaterasu: Thanks
[12:06] Mr Big: wanna go somewher private?
[12:07] Amanda Amaterasu: No
[12:08] Mr Big: =(
[12:08] Mr Big: 9 inch
[12:08] Amanda Amaterasu nods
[12:09] Mr Big: you like?
[12:09] Amanda Amaterasu: I like what?
[12:09] Mr Big: the 9
[12:10] Amanda Amaterasu: I'm more concerned about the total package. I can buy a nine inch dildo
[12:10] Mr Big: what else ya need for package? lol
[12:11] Mr Big: i got a monsterous penis. real is so much better then dildo you need to experience it i think
[12:11] Amanda Amaterasu: Look, I'm going to level with you. I'm not really interested in sex with men who are seeking a hole to fuck. I get the sense that is what you're looking for. So I'm not going to waste your time.
[12:12] Mr Big: i just lookin for a good time
[12:12] Mr Big: what you doing here then?
[12:12] Amanda Amaterasu: Mostly I go just for laughs, and to help the occasional newbie.
[12:12] Amanda Amaterasu: But I'm not interested in being a fucktoy.
[12:13] Mr Big: never wanted to have a fucktoy
[12:13] Mr Big: just wanted two peopleto have a great fuck
[12:13] Amanda Amaterasu: It takes more than a nine inch dick to interest me.
[12:14] Mr Big: what else interests you? ya most people 9 inch dont interesest them it amazing them
[12:15] Amanda Amaterasu: Well, I've had sex before, so penis size isn't the most important thing to me.
[12:15] Amanda Amaterasu: I'm interested in someone who is creative, witty, and good with his words.

I guess that wasn't him.

The Camhunter Files, part 1

I am forever amused by the amount of men who venture into the orgy rooms looking for women to jump on webcam with them. Now, having never owned a cam, I cannot speak from experience, but aren't there cam chat rooms for this type of thing? Trolling for cam seems to defeat the purpose of Second Life, or at least trolling for cam in places where few women dare to tread.

I am not convinced that these guys meet willing women for cam who do not expect to be paid, but I am going to save that for another post.

In this particular instance, there was an escort in the room who kept announcing her cam and pic services in open chat about every 30 seconds or so. I was about to mute her when I noticed a man pass by me wearing a fliptitle that said "I pay for cam". Ah, I thought, the solution to my problems. Now, I do not normally initiate conversation; I am happy to stand there, look pretty, and wait for someone to talk to me. In this case, however, I was happy to approach him and point him in the right direction. Or so I thought.

[10:41] Amanda Amaterasu: Clueless, can you pay camgirly for cam so she can stop spamming already?
[10:41] Clueless Cam: ohhh
[10:41] Clueless Cam: and you ;)
[10:42] Amanda Amaterasu: I don't cam.
[10:42] Amanda Amaterasu: I just want her to shut up
[10:42] Amanda Amaterasu: So if you hire her, everyone gets what they want.
[10:42] Clueless Cam: you have msn?
[10:42] Clueless Cam: you come from?
[10:43] Amanda Amaterasu: I'm from the US, and I do not own a webcam, nor do I plan to purchase a webcam.
[10:43] Clueless Cam: ok you have msn
[10:43] Amanda Amaterasu: For what?
[10:43] Clueless Cam: wehen you have a webcam write me ok?
[10:43] Amanda Amaterasu: I don't think you understand me.
[10:44] Amanda Amaterasu: I do not own a cam, I will not ever own a cam.
[10:44] Amanda Amaterasu: camgirly has a cam
[10:44] Amanda Amaterasu: So you should talk to her about cam.

To the best of my knowledge, he did not contact her for cam.

I don't even get a "hello"?

I realize that the noob sex rooms exist for noobs to have sex. And to make money off of said noobs. I know this. That doesn't mean that the standards for politeness go out the window when approaching someone.

And as this conversation progressed, I wondered if this is the SL equivalent of not being able to get it up? I mean, he didn't even make a cursory attempt to attempt to seduce me when I asked.

[11:23] Mister Personality: hi how about us using these balls
[11:24] Amanda Amaterasu: To do what?
[11:24] Mister Personality: well the last time it was for sex
[11:24] Amanda Amaterasu: Oh
[11:24] Amanda Amaterasu: Well, why would I want to do that with you, instead of with another guy?
[11:25] Mister Personality: because i am very very good and i need to be with you and nobody else
[11:26] Amanda Amaterasu: Are you very, very good? Or are you just going to mount a ball and type "mmmmmm"?
[11:26] Mister Personality: try me lol i don't do Mmmm

(at this point he removed his pants and hopped on the nearest poseball.)

[11:26] Amanda Amaterasu: OK, prove it.
[11:26] Amanda Amaterasu: With your words.
[11:26] Amanda Amaterasu: If you're good, you don't need a poseball.
[11:27] Mister Personality: I know but it helps set the scene
[11:27] Amanda Amaterasu: You seem like a smart guy. Try setting the scene without poseballs.
[11:28] Mister Personality: ok normally i would just do it but its been a long day and i need to relax a bit so will you be here later so i can give you my full attention
[11:29] Amanda Amaterasu: Perhaps I will, perhaps I will not. But since I thought you were in the mood for sex, I guess you are unable to set a scene without poseballs.
[11:29] Mister Personality: and my 'script' is geared to the position
[11:29] Amanda Amaterasu: Pity. It could have been fun.

Beggars can't be choosers

Let me preface this by saying that I am not an escort. However, if a man is going to make ridiculous, illiterate demands, I feel that I can make ridiculous demands as well.

[12:29] Bald Illiterate: came suck me
[12:30] Amanda Amaterasu: I'm sorry, is that supposed to be in English?
[12:30] Bald Illiterate: lol
[12:30] Bald Illiterate: my english is not the best
[12:30] Amanda Amaterasu: So I noticed.
[12:31] Bald Illiterate: suck me a little?
[12:31] Amanda Amaterasu: And what are you going to do for me?
[12:31] Bald Illiterate: everything that you want
[12:31] Amanda Amaterasu: Great, let's go shoe shopping.
[12:32] Bald Illiterate: but first you suck me
[12:32] Amanda Amaterasu: No, first you buy me shoes.
[12:32] Bald Illiterate: no
[12:32] Bald Illiterate: suck first
[12:32] Amanda Amaterasu: Then I can't give you a blow job, sorry.

A typical newbie conversation

These types of conversations are par for the course if you are a female and you dare to step into an orgy room. I didn't take a picture of this unfortunate fellow (yeah, yeah, I know, pics or it didn't happen), but he was wearing the freebie tux (more on this in another post) and the old default male avatar.

[8:01] Typical Noob: hi
[8:01] Amanda Amaterasu: Hello
[8:01] Typical Noob: you are nice miss
[8:01] Amanda Amaterasu: I am?
[8:02] Typical Noob: yes
[8:02] Amanda Amaterasu: OK
[8:02] Typical Noob: and your body is nice
[8:04] Typical Noob: hi
[8:04] Amanda Amaterasu: Hi again
[8:04] Amanda Amaterasu: Sorry I was a little distracted
[8:05] Typical Noob: can i get nice time with you
[8:05] Amanda Amaterasu: I don't know... depends on what you mean
[8:06] Typical Noob: i mean get nice time with you
[8:06] Amanda Amaterasu: Can you be a bit more specific?
[8:07] Typical Noob: are you understand
[8:07] Typical Noob: miss
[8:07] Typical Noob: miss
[8:07] Amanda Amaterasu: No, I don't understand you.
[8:07] Typical Noob: ok
[8:08] Amanda Amaterasu: [8:05] Typical Noob: can i get nice time with you
[8:08] Typical Noob: i mean fuking you
[8:08] Amanda Amaterasu: Ah
[8:08] Amanda Amaterasu: That's what you should have said
[8:08] Typical Noob: i mean that
[8:08] Typical Noob: you understand
[8:08] Amanda Amaterasu: So you should just say what you mean, so it's clear
[8:09] Typical Noob: ok let's go
[8:09] Amanda Amaterasu: Uh, who said I was going to fuck you?
[8:09] Typical Noob: yes
[8:09] Typical Noob: how much
[8:10] Amanda Amaterasu: Who said I was an escort?
[8:10] Typical Noob: ok
[8:10] Typical Noob: you mean not come with me
[8:10] Typical Noob: ok
[8:11] Amanda Amaterasu: Well, you don't give me much of a reason to fuck you.
[8:12] Typical Noob: are woman
[8:12] Typical Noob: or teen
[8:12] Amanda Amaterasu: I'm an adult, teens tend to be escorts or lack standards.
[8:12] Amanda Amaterasu laughs
[8:13] Typical Noob: ok you want or no
[8:14] Amanda Amaterasu: No
[8:14] Typical Noob: why
[8:14] Amanda Amaterasu: Because 1) I don't know you 2) You haven't said or done anything to interest me
[8:15] Typical Noob: ok
[8:15] Typical Noob: i'm so sorry about that
[8:15] Typical Noob: see you
[8:15] Amanda Amaterasu: Bye

The first post, and hopefully not the last

Hello, my name is Amanda. Despite my youthful appearance in Second Life, I've actually been playing for approximately 18 months. I enjoy most of the same things that you do. I love shopping and have a stuffed virtual closet to prove it. I have lots of great friends from all over the world. I go to clubs, attempt to make stuff, and I've done a bit of modelling here and there.

But my favorite pastime in Second Life is going to orgy rooms.

For those of you not in the know, orgy rooms are the saddest and most hilarious places in Second Life. You'd think a 24 hour sex party would be, you know, erotic, or at the very least, a sexy good time. Instead, very little sex actually happens in these rooms. Sure, there will be cheap "escorts" who sell sex for as little as a linden per minute. There will be exhibitionist noobs in poorly designed avatars demanding that every woman they see give it up for free, including voice and cam. But there is very little sex that happens in the orgy rooms.

So what keeps me coming back to these places? It's certainly not for the promise of free sex with someone who's probably 14 years old in real life, or 50 years old and married, or with a "lesbian" who's a real life man getting his kink on. No, it's the hours of painfully funny conversations I've had with strange horny men that keep me coming back again and again. I've kept the best ones. I've shared them with friends. And now I plan to share them with you.

All names will be changed to protect the innocent, the not-so-innocent, and the just plain weird. Hopefully, I'll get some reader submissions as well, and we all can enjoy.

And for you gentlemen out there, if you recognize yourself in any of these conversations... remember, with free sex, you get what you pay for.

Enjoy!